I feel like that’s about the only way to explain what I’m feeling right about now.  I have been studying for weeks (I guess you could say years since my legal learning started in August 2008) and yet I feel no more confident than I did when I started.

My worst subject, by far, is real property. I just can’t grasp it for some reason.  I spent two full days reviewing notes and attempting to understand at least some of it.  Today I took a 20 question practice quiz and did WORSE than I had been doing!  HOW does that happen?!  My husband claims it’s the stress, which, to an extent, he’s probably right.  However, I feel like I should be improving with all the hours of studying I’m putting in.

Now, here’s the question I pose to you: do I continue trying to bring up my property score or focus on getting the other subjects to 80% or more and just take property at a loss and pray there isn’t a property essay??  Some of my subjects are already above the 80% range, others are close, one is a bit far but I believe would be easier to raise than property.  Decisions, decisions…

Only 4 full days of studying left.  I was up until 4am last night and was awake (thanks to our puppy) at 9:30, studying again (a nap was involved later).  I spent a good 4 hours sitting at Starbucks studying, even more time at home and I’m starting to feel like sleeping is cheating myself out of study time.  I take study breaks (obviously) because my brain just can’t focus for all too long, but study breaks are much shorter than this “sleep” my body thinks it needs.  Caffeine, which I don’t normally drink much of, is quickly becoming my best friend.  I baked a cake last night during one of my study breaks… I tend to stress-bake.  With my current eating habits, I’m bound to be obese in a few months.

Thank goodness this is over next week and my normal life can resume!  I want to take our dogs on a walk.  I want to read a normal book.  I want to sleep.  I want to not feel guilty for playing a few rounds of Call of Duty with my brother-in-law.  I want to cook a meal that isn’t frozen or didn’t come out of a box.  Luckily, my husband is off next Thursday, the day after the bar, and I’ve already told him I want to go hiking.  Nothing like getting out into the mountains to relax and celebrate that this is actually over (assuming I don’t fail and have to go through this again in February)!

Good luck to everyone else taking the bar next week and I’ll see you on the other side (probably, unless I decide I need another blogging study break).


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